The Joke Page

These Jokes came from the DownUnder Bar in Chiang Mai

1. Emily came home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she was very good at them.
   Mum said "You should say "No" - they only want to look at your knickers".
   Emily said "I know they do ... that's why I his them in my bag"!
   
2. I saw a van with a bumper sticker saying "I'm a vet, therefore I drive like an animal."
   Suddenly I realised how many Gynocologists there are on the road.
   
3. My girlfriend came out of the shower and said "I shaved my pussy, you know what that means?"
   I said "Yeah, the fucking drain is clogged again."
   
4. When I was in a pub I heard a couple of blokes saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if the pilot was a woman.
   What a pair of sexists.  I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing.
   
5. My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker ...
   Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
   
6. My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning.  Can you believe that, 2:30am!
   Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
   
7. I pointed to 2 old drunks across the bar from us and said to my mate John, "That'll be us in 10 years mate."
   He said, "That's a mirror, Ronnie, you dickhead."
   
8. Women are impressed when I tell them that I have a giant horses cock.
   But the freak out when I take it out of the freezer.
   
9. A middle aged guy asked the Pattaya gym instructor what was the best machine to use to impress the ladies.
   The Gym Instructor took him outside to the ATM
   

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